A year of lurking in hell

Yep. I’m coming up on the year mark in just a couple weeks. Hard to believe, that. I didn’t even realize it until tonight when I hooked up with a dude I used to work with. He quit in March before I had any clue what was going on and when I thought I was just obsessed with this game stuck in my head. I was trying to talk him into doing the graphics for me. He was wondering what the fuck ever came of it or if it was just another one of my big plans to take over the game industry that died after I realized it was just the same old bullshit in a different wrapper.

It got me to thinking about everything that’s gone on in the past year. I think I hit on this in the last post, but I’ve gotten myself all wrapped up in the drama. How in the hell that happened is beyond me.

I know this shit ain’t a game but that doesn’t change that I am who I am. I think best and do best when theres a controller in my hands. I’ve always approached my life like it was some sort of crazy RPG. Gotta do the grind. Need more cash. Get more skills. I don’t know what kind of gamer I am, but I obsess and optimize. I figure shit out. I know the levels. I never do the same thing twice cause there’s always a better way.

For the past however many months I’ve been sitting in clan chat bitching that the game sucks ass. That’s not how I play, so why the fuck am I doing it?

It’s time for a plan. It’s time to get back to mapping out the damn level. It’s time to figure out the enemies and prepare for the raid.

It’s time to play the fucking game.